Our Medication Management Program is staffed by healthcare professionals that provide evaluation, diagnosis and medication intervention in the treatment of mental health disorders. Individuals receiving medication are monitored for progress, ongoing evaluation of symptoms and quality of life improvement.
Persons served are educated in proper medication usage, intended benefits and adverse effects of medication and the importance of consistency in taking medications to control the symptoms of mental illness.
Psychiatrists are medical doctors who specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health problems, such as depression. They provide counseling and can prescribe medications to treat mental illness.
Psychiatrists may further specialize in specific areas, such as addiction psychiatry, or in treating specific age groups, such as adolescents.
Our mental well-being is directly connected with our overall physical health. Experiences like stress or trauma can leave us anxious, overwhelmed and hopeless. Untreated, these feelings can lead to major psychological and physical illnesses or to behaviors that can become addictive and destructive. Positive Reset approaches mental health and substance abuse treatment through a multidisciplinary program that focuses on the whole person — physical, spiritual, psychological and social.
For various reasons you might think about getting a psychological evaluation, meaning that you are considering being tested, and if needed, getting treated by a psychologist (or similar professional).
Luckily for all of us, mental illness is no longer considered something that needs to be kept a secret at all costs, so if it helps, it should be done. Unfortunately, your possible illness (you don’t know yet that you actually are ill,) might be getting in the way of you making the right decision.
Ideally, once you get tested you will generally be better off, because you’ll know that either you’re perfectly normal, or you’ll have a definite identification of your condition.
If you have a positive attitude, you will probably decide to go ahead, because it is always better to know.
1. Before you actually get started, if you can, you should try to get support from someone you trust, such as a social worker, a family member, your doctor, a teacher, or a priest or minister or nun. Let them help you decide.
2. If whoever is supporting you suggests that you should get tested, you have to decide whether to follow that advice, and that’s a very personal decision. Just deciding to get tested is a big point in your favor.
3. Learn just a little bit about mental problems (always a good idea if anyone get’s seriously ill).
There are several basic kinds of mental health problems:
Emotional – This is fairly clear; it describes people who respond to situations in such extreme ways that they make things worse.
Behavioral – This is a complicated sort of problem that has to do with habits of behavior.
Developmental – This describes problems arising out of handicaps that prevent normal mental growth. Often even a person who is mentally handicapped can tell that he or she is different from other folks of the same age as himself. A minor degree of difference is not abnormal, but only a specialist can tell.
Physiological – This appears as a problem with the brain or the mind but is actually caused by physical problems with the nerves or muscles.
4. Stop making matters worse by feeling alienated. This is a word for that feeling of being all alone. You start thinking that you’re the only one who has this sickness, and you will be considered strange and different. This is certainly not true. Most common problems, such as depression, are made worse by the feeling of being alone. Realize that many problems like this are very common, and that should help you fight the problem. But often, intervention is needed; that is, the problem won’t go away until it is treated. But that’s nothing to feel upset about. People who have suffered the same problem can help you understand it, and cope with it. Ask around for the best doctor or treatment center to go to. They are NOT all the same, and you need to be able to trust the people who are treating you, such as your counselor or treatment center. If you’re not comfortable with one professional or one treatment center, it’s perfectly okay to find another one. This is important treatment, and you really have to feel comfortable.
5. Know what to expect. What happens during a psychological evaluation?
a. It usually begins with the professional just sitting with you and asking you to explain various things. This usually lasts about an hour. If it is decided that you should be given “psychotherapy,” it is very similar: a talk session, where they try to give you various ideas and attitudes to help you deal with one aspect of your problem or another. They may talk about physical problems, genetic problems (did your parents or grandparents have …?) environmental (When you were growing up, was there a lot of violence, or noise, or hostility, or traveling around, or changing schools…?) educational (did you have difficult in school with …?)
b. They could talk about your feelings or reactions about various things that might have happened to you. For this purpose, it might help you to write down beforehand some of what you’re upset or concerned about, and take it with you for your session.
6. Don’t hold back; bring everything out to the therapist (the doctor or professional), don’t be embarrassed. It is completely confidential; there are laws preventing them from discussing your information with anyone outside your session. Nothing you say is going to surprise them; they’ve probably heard very similar things from other patients. It may surprise you to find how easy it is to open up after you’ve made the first leap and told them something in confidence.
7. Take all your medications faithfully. This is important. Some of the biggest problems doctors have is with patients who stop taking their medication as soon as they start feeling better. This is especially true of people who suffer from manic depression (extreme alternating “highs” and “lows”). The drug prevents the really terrible lows, but they also moderate some of the excessive highs. You can’t have everything; you have to sacrifice some of the euphoria in order to avoid the deep depression; it’s a tradeoff.
Organize the medications you take so that you can remember to take them. (Many people use an organizer box that has a little compartment for the pills to be taken each day of the week, and each time of day. Once a week you have to spend half an hour filling the thing up carefully, but then taking the medication is easy.) If you notice any side-effects, notify your doctor promptly.
If, however, both you and a trusted friend or other supporter are agreed that the doctor’s choice of medication is most definitely not working, then find another professional, and change drugs ONLY UNDER THE NEW DOCTOR’S SUPERVISION. If you’re suspicious of the motives of your old doctor, find a new one without ties to the old one. However, do not try to manage the drugs yourself.
Unfortunately, it has been recently discovered that some doctors have been prescribing certain drugs without a good reason, for instance the drugs for ADD (attention deficit disorder). Whatever decision you take, you should try to talk it over with your trusted supporter or family member, and agree on a path of action, especially if it involves giving up on one professional and going to another.
It is generally better to get a doctor who prescribes less medication than one who prescribes tons of medication. Your condition might need heavy medication. But there certainly are doctors who prescribe too much, and it is hard to advise how to deal with them, and to know whether you’re being over-medicated. If in doubt, stay with the program. This is why, if at all possible you should get a friend or advisor on board. Choosing how to handle a feeling of being over-medicated should not be a matter of opinion, but a matter of judgment.
- Medical insurance is a tough issue, but plenty of insurance providers are willing to cut the cost for you. Do some research to find out which companies will cover your specific conditions. In addition, many community health centers and large university mental health clinics will allow you to receive treatment on a sliding scale basis (that is, they charge amounts that are proportional to what you can afford).
- Be confident. You’re making a bold and positive step, and trying to do something to help yourself feel better about life. This is admirable, and by continuing, you have the potential to live more happily and fulfill more of your goals.
- Don’t expect an instant cure. If life offered us immediate relief for every disease, mental or otherwise, no one would have to suffer. As it is, recovery and progress take their own time. Compare it to cancer in this way – chemotherapy is an agonizing treatment which is almost never brief. You require some help, and you can receive that help readily, but you have to be patient.
- Be as open as possible, no one’s going to make fun of you or judge you. You can come to terms with many problems simply by giving them a voice, and it may not be long until you can talk openly about things that used to bother you.
- Check for warning signs. If you’re feeling every bit as bad as you were before medication and evaluation after the first month, tell that to your doctor. They can only help if you keep track of how you feel, and let the doctor know.
Positive Reset recognizes the relationship between the physical, emotional and psychological aspects of a patient’s health. Our philosophy is to offer a holistic approach to care, attempting to address each of these factors. To that end, our mental health providers closely collaborate with our medical providers to offer a range of services that support patients’ emotional and psychological well-being. These services are affirmative, sex-positive, respectful and culturally sensitive.
Our therapists are Licensed Social Workers (LSWs, LCSWs) and
Licensed Counselors (LACs) with expertise in the following areas:
- Gender transition and trans identities Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and questioning identities
- Reduction of the harmful effects of substance use
- Eating disorders and other compulsive behaviors
- Depression, anxiety, and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
- Short-term psychotherapy (typically 12-20 sessions)
- Motivational counseling to encourage behavior change and reduce harm
- Therapy groups
- Psychiatric Evaluation (typically 1-3 sessions)
- Psychotropic medication management through primary care
In order to participate we require a brief mental health screening to determine eligibility. We encourage anyone attending group therapy to also be engaged in individual therapy. Call 732-955-4141 for more information including cost. We accept major insurances. Private insurance is plan-dependent — please check with your carrier. Uninsured clients may be eligible for sliding scale fees, based upon income and family size
The IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) is more intensive than traditional outpatient and is designed to achieve short-term stabilization and resolution of immediate problem areas. The patient and family are offered services by a team of professionals. The patient is enrolled in a time-limited program with other patients working on similar issues. The treatment team may include licensed therapists, nurses, program specialists, and a doctor.
The programs are offered Monday through Sunday with a minimum of three hours per day. The actual schedule depends on the individual client’s needs and insurance benefits.
This is a short-term outpatient program designed specifically for adult and geriatric patients who are experiencing behavioral or emotional difficulties, but who do not require (or no longer require) the intense level of psychiatric care provided by inpatient or partial hospitalization programs. IOP is ideal for stabilizing those individuals with a history of frequent relapse. Eligible patients have acute symptoms of depression and/or anxiety and may be at risk for hospitalization, or may be “stepping down” from a hospital stay.
How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your career and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management. Managing stress is all about taking charge: of your thoughts, emotions, schedule, and the way you deal with problems
Identify the sources of stress in your life
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
- Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
- Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
- Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
Start a Stress Journal
A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
- What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)
- How you felt, both physically and emotionally
- How you acted in response
- What you did to make yourself feel better
Look at how you currently cope with stress
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and expressed by violent behavior, it can be viewed by society as an immature or uncivilized emotional response. Constant angry feelings and anger acting outs canlead to the real problems: problems at work, in personal relationships, and in the overalllife’s quality. It even can affect physical well-being, causing sleep problems, nightmares, ulcers, headaches, high blood pressure etc.
The latest happens due to physiological and biological changes, accompanied emotional responses, like releasing stress hormone – cortisol or “energy” nerve messengers.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. It is possible to be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker, supervisor or significant other) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), sometimes anger can be caused by excessive worrying about personal problems. Recollections of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
A certain amount of anger is necessary for our survival, because it allows us to fight and defend ourselves. So it can be viewed as an adaptive response. However, the level of our anger limited by social norms, laws, by common sense and a s a result we are not lashing out on every person or event. Instead, we usually use a variety of conscious and unconscious processes to deal with angry feelings. There are three main approaches to deal with anger.
Expressing angry feelings in an assertive manner is the healthiest way to address anger. To do this, it is very important to understand own needs and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Suppressing anger, it is when it covered up or redirected. It happens when the anger is being hold in, anger thoughts stopped, and focus directed on something positive. The goal is to inhibit or suppress anger and change it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, anger can turn inward. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems to be cynical and hostile.
Such people are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, that they are less likely can build up successful relationships.
Calming down inside. This means not only controlling own outward behavior, but also controlling internal responses, taking steps to lower heart rate, calm self down, and let the feelings subside.
Psychologists dealing with anger management believe that when none of these three techniques work, that’s when someone or something going to get hurt.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a common type of mental health counseling (psychotherapy). With cognitive behavioral therapy, you work with a mental health counselor (psychotherapist or therapist) in a structured way, attending a limited number of sessions. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking, so you can view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can be a very helpful tool in treating mental disorders or illnesses, such as anxiety or depression. But not everyone who benefits from cognitive behavioral therapy has a mental health condition. It can be an effective tool to help anyone learn how to better manage stressful life situations.
Family therapy, also referred to as couple and family therapy, marriage and family therapy, family systems therapy, and family counseling, is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and couples in intimate relationships to nurture change and development. It tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members. It emphasizes family relationships as an important factor in psychological health.
The different schools of family therapy have in common a belief that, regardless of the origin of the problem, and regardless of whether the clients consider it an “individual” or “family” issue, involving families in solutions often benefits clients. This involvement of families is commonly accomplished by their direct participation in the therapy session. The skills of the family therapist thus include the ability to influence conversations in a way that catalyses the strengths, wisdom, and support of the wider system.
In the field’s early years, many clinicians defined the family in a narrow, traditional manner usually including parents and children. As the field has evolved, the concept of the family is more commonly defined in terms of strongly supportive, long-term roles and relationships between people who may or may not be related by blood or marriage.
The conceptual frameworks developed by family therapists, especially those of family systems theorists, have been applied to a wide range of human behaviour, including organisational dynamics and the study of greatness.
Make your relationship work by following these 5 basic principles
If you’re part of a couple in distress, you may feel that there’s no way out of your troubled relationship. Myths about the low success rates of couples therapy and counseling only make your situation seem worse than it is. Recently, New York Times columnist Elizabeth Weil reinforced that unfortunate impression in her column “Does Couples Therapy Work?” She concludes that, even regarding the most effective methods: “Both types of therapy are structured, and the results of both are well documented, at least in follow-ups for a few years. Still, the entire field of couples therapy suffers from a systemic problem.” The problem she refers to is real enough- couples often wait until very late in the game to seek intervention and by then, one or both may have decided to call it quits. It’s also true that, as she observes, being an effective couples therapist requires different skills than the skills demanded by being an effective individual therapist. Nevertheless, the data largely refute Weil’s claims. When properly conducted, couples therapy can have demonstrably positive effects.
Five basic principles of effective couples therapy:
1. Changes the views of the relationship. Throughout the therapeutic process, the therapist attempts to help both partners see the relationship in a more objective manner. They learn to stop the “blame game” and instead look at what happens to them as a process involving each partner. They also can benefit from seeing that their relationship takes place in a certain context. For example, couples who struggle financially will be under different kinds of situational stresses than those who are not. Therapists begin this process by collecting “data” on the interaction between the partners by watching how they interact. Therapists then formulate “hypotheses” about what causal factors may be in play to lead to the way the couples interact. How they share this information with the couple varies by the therapist’s particular theoretical orientation. There’s empirical support for a variety of approaches from behavioral to insight-oriented. Different therapists will use different strategies, but as long as they focus on altering the way the relationship is understood, the couple can start to see each other, and their interactions, in more adaptive ways.
2. Modifies dysfunctional behavior. Effective couples therapists attempt to change the way that the partners actually behave with each other. This means that in addition to helping them improve their interactions, therapists also need to ensure that their clients are not engaging in actions that can cause physical, psychological, or economic harm. In order to do this, therapists must conduct a careful assessment to determine whether their clients are, in fact, at risk. If necessary, the therapist may recommend, for example, that one partner be referred to a domestic violence shelter, to specialized drug abuse treatment, or to anger management. It is also possible that if the risk is not sufficiently severe, the couple can benefit from “time-out” procedures to stop the escalation of conflict.
3. Decreases emotional avoidance. Couples who avoid expressing their private feelings put themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and hence grow apart. Effective couples therapists help their clients bring out the emotions and thoughts that they fear expressing to the other person. Attachment-based couples therapy allows the partners to feel less afraid of expressing their needs for closeness. According to this view, some partners who failed to develop “secure” emotional attachments in childhood have unmet needs that they carry over into their adult relationships. They fear showing their partners how much they need them because they are afraid that their partners will reject them. Behaviorally based therapists, assume that adults may fear expressing their true feelings because, in the past, they did not receive “reinforcement.” Either way, both theoretical approaches advocate helping their clients express their true feelings in a way that will eventually draw them closer together.
4. Improves communication. Being able to communicate is one of the “three C’s” of intimacy. All effective couples therapies focus on helping the partners to communicate more effectively. Building on principles #2 and #3, this communication should not be abusive, nor should partners ridicule each other when they do express their true feelings. Couples may, therefore, require “coaching” to learn how to speak to each other in more supportive and understanding ways. The therapist may also provide the couple with didactic instruction to give them the basis for knowing what types of communication are effective and what types will only cause more conflict. They can learn how to listen more actively and empathically, for example. However, exactly how to accomplish this step requires that therapists turn back to the assessments they performed early on in treatment. Couples with a long history of mutual criticism may require a different approach than those who try to avoid conflict at all costs.
5. Promotes strengths. Effective couples therapists point out the strengths in the relationship and build resilience particularly as therapy nears a close. Because so much of couples therapy involves focusing on problem areas, it’s easy to lose sight of the other areas in which couples function effectively. The point of promoting strength is to help the couple derive more enjoyment out of their relationship. The behaviorally-oriented therapist may “prescribe” that one partner do something that pleases the other. Therapists from other orientations that focus more on emotions instead might help the couple develop a more positive “story” or narrative about their relationship. In either case, the therapist should avoid trying to put his or her own spin on what constitutes a strength and let this be defined by the couple.
We can see, then, that people in troubled relationships need not give up in despair if their situation seems bleak. By the same token, people afraid of entering long-term relationships can be encouraged by learning that trouble relationships can be fixed.
Looking at the flip side, these five principles of effective therapy suggest ways that couples can build and maintain positive close relationships. Take an objective look at your relationship, to get help to reduce dysfunctional behaviors, feel that you can share your emotions, communicate effectively, and emphasize what’s working. Most importantly, by remembering that each relationship has its unique challenges and strengths, you’ll be giving yours the best chances for survival.
Group therapy is a type of psychotherapy that involves one or more therapists working with several people at the same time. This type of therapy is widely available at a variety of locations, including private therapeutic practices, hospitals, mental health clinics, and community centers. Group therapy is sometimes used alone, but it is also commonly integrated into a comprehensive treatment plan that also includes individual therapy and medication.
The Principles of Group Therapy
There is the key therapeutic principles that have been derived from self-reports from individuals who have been involved in the group therapy process:
1. The instillation of hope: The group contains members at different stages of the treatment process. Seeing people who are coping or recovering gives hope to those at the beginning of the process.
2. Universality: Being part of a group of people who have the same experiences helps people see that what they are going through is universal and that they are not alone.
3. Imparting information: Group members are able to help each other by sharing information.
4. Altruism: Group members are able to share their strengths and help others in the group, which can boost self-esteem and confidence.
5. The corrective recapitulation of the primary family group: The therapy group is much like a family in some ways. Within the group, each member can explore how childhood experiences contributed to personality and behaviors. They can also learn to avoid behaviors that are destructive or unhelpful in real life.
6. Development of socialization techniques: The group setting is a great place to practice new behaviors. The setting is safe and supportive, allowing group members to experiment without the fear of failure.
7. Imitative behavior: Individuals can model the behavior of other members of the group or observe and imitate the behavior of the therapist.
8. Interpersonal learning: By interacting with other people and receiving feedback from the group and the therapist, each individual can gain a greater understanding of himself or herself.
9. Group cohesiveness: Because the group is united in a common goal, members gain a sense of belonging and acceptance.
10. Catharsis: Sharing feelings and experiences with a group of people can help relieve pain, guilt, or stress.
11. Existential factors: While working within a group offers support and guidance, group therapy helps member realize that they are responsible for their own lives, action and choices.
How Does Group Therapy Work?
Groups can be as small as three or four people, but group therapy sessions generally involve around seven to twelve individuals (although it is possible to have more participants). The group typically meets once or twice each week for an hour or two.
The minimum number of group therapy sessions is usually around six, but a full year of sessions is more common. These sessions may either be open or closed. In open sessions, new participants are welcome to join at any time. In a closed group, only a core group of members are invited to participate.
So what does a typical group therapy session look like? In many cases, the group will meet in a room where the chairs are arranged in a large circle so that each member can see every other person in the group. A session might begin with members of the group introducing themselves and sharing why they are in group therapy. Members might also share their experiences and progress since the last meeting.
The specific manner in which the session is conducted depends largely on the goals of the group and the style of the therapist. Some therapists might encourage a more free-form style of dialogue, where each member participates as he or she sees fit. Other therapists instead have a specific plan for each session that might include having clients practice new skills with other members of the group.
The Effectiveness of Group Therapy
Group therapy can be very effective, especially in certain situations. Studies have shown that group therapy can be an effective treatment choice for depression and traumatic stress.
Reasons to Use Group Therapy
The key advantages of group therapy include:
- Group therapy allows people to receive the support and encouragement of the other members of the group. People participating in the group are able to see that there are others going through the same thing, which can help them feel less alone.
- Group members can serve as role models to other members of the group. By seeing someone who is successfully coping with a problem, other members of the group can see that there is hope and recovery is possible. As each person progresses, they can in turn serve as a role model and support figure for others. This can help foster feelings of success and accomplishment.
- Group therapy is very cost effective. Instead of focusing on just one client at a time, the therapist can devote his or her time to a much larger group of people.
- Group therapy offers a safe haven. The setting allows people to practice behaviors and actions within the safety and security of the group.
- By working in a group, the therapist can see first-hand how each person responds to other people and behaves in social situations. Using this information, the therapist can provide valuable feedback to each client.
Marriage rates supposedly are on the decline. While it’s an oft-repeated statistic that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, that number has remained unchanged for the past 30 years. Divorce rates also vary with the partners’ level of education, religious beliefs, and many other factors.
But when divorce does happen, it results in difficulties for adults as well as children. For adults, divorce can be one of life’s most stressful life events. The decision to divorce often is met with ambivalence and uncertainty about the future. If children are involved, they may experience negative effects such as denial, feelings of abandonment, anger, blame, guilt, preoccupation with reconciliation, and acting out.
While divorce may be necessary and the healthiest choice for some, others may wish to try to salvage whatever is left of the union. When couples encounter problems or issues, they may wonder when it is appropriate to seek marriage counseling. Here are seven good reasons.
7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling
1. Communication has become negative. Once communication has deteriorated, often it is hard to get it going back in the right direction. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. This can also include the tone of the conversation. It is important to remember that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it.
Negative communication can also include any communication that not only leads to hurt feelings, but emotional or physical abuse, as well as nonverbal communication.
2. When one or both partners consider having an affair, or one partner has had an affair. Recovering from an affair is not impossible, but it takes a lot of work. It takes commitment and a willingness to forgive and move forward. There is no magic formula for recovering from an affair. But if both individuals are committed to the therapy process and are being honest, the marriage may be salvaged. At the very least, it may be determined that it is healthier for both individuals to move on.
3. When the couple seems to be “just occupying the same space.” When couples become more like roommates than a married couple, this may indicate a need for counseling. This does not mean if the couple isn’t doing everything together they are in trouble. If there is a lack of communication, conversation and intimacy or any other elements the couple feels are important and they feel they just “co-exist,” this may be an indication that a skilled clinician can help sort out what is missing and how to get it back.
4. When the partners do not know how to resolve their differences. Every TV show ended with the phrase “now you know, and knowing is half the battle. That phrase comes to mind with this situation. When a couple begins to experience discord and they are aware of the discord, knowing is only half the battle. Many times couples say, “We know what’s wrong, but we just don’t know how to fix it.”. This is a perfect time to get a third party involved. If a couple is stuck, a skilled clinician may be able to get them moving in the right direction.
5. When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings. I believe what we feel on the inside shows on the outside. Even if we are able to mask these feelings for a while, they are bound to surface. Negative feelings such as resentment or disappointment can turn into hurtful, sometimes harmful behaviors. I can recall a couple where the wife was very hurt by her husband’s indiscretions. Although she agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out, she became very spiteful. The wife would purposefully do things to make her husband think she was being unfaithful even though she wasn’t. She wanted her husband to feel the same pain she felt, which was counterproductive. A skilled clinician can help the couple sort out negative feelings and find better ways to express them.
6. When the only resolution appears to be separation. When a couple disagrees or argues, a break often is very helpful. However, when a timeout turns into an overnight stay away from home or eventually leads to a temporary separation, this may indicate a need for counseling. Spending time away from home does not usually resolve the situation. Instead, it reinforces the thought that time away is helpful, often leading to more absences. When the absent partner returns, the problem is still there, but often avoided because time has passed.
7. When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children. If a couple feels it is wise to stay together for the sake of the children, it may help to involve an objective third party. Often couples believe that they are doing the right thing when staying together actually is detrimental to the children. On the contrary, if the couple is able to resolve issue and move toward a positive, healthy relationship, this may be the best decision for all involved.
Children should never be the deciding factor when couples are determining whether to stay together.
Children are generally very intuitive and intelligent. No matter how couples may think they are able to fake their happiness, most children are able to tell.
All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart. However, for those relationships that can be salvaged, and for those couples willing to commit to the process, marriage counseling may be able to remind them why they fell in love and keep them that way.
Many treatments are available for child and adolescent mental health symptoms.
Some are backed by science (i.e., “evidence-based treatments”), and some are not.
We provide children and adolescents, ages 3 through 18, with support and coping skills to achieve emotional health and improved functioning through individual and family counseling. Play therapy allows younger children, who often are unable to communicate verbally, to express their feelings through art, activities, and toys.
We counsel children with challenges such as attention disorders, learning differences, and behavioral issues. Parents are incorporated into the treatment plan so that they can provide intervention and additional support at home.
Our expert counselors are available to speak on a variety of topics, including body image, bullying, and building healthy relationships at area synagogues and schools.